Be happy, be happy...

phew.. we are back from Vipassana. actually escaped to a luxury hotel, where we're giving us a good treat after 10 days of abstinence to all wordly pleasures ;) hmm.. this was probably the last Vipassana retreat I did in this life. I left the course again early before completing it out of the exact same reasons as 10 years ago. let me put this together as I think it's important to be written down for it represents my actitude to life! the idea of Vipassana is to observe your body to become aware of all the sensations and the nature of sensations (they all rise and pass away and so is life.. constant changing). the whole universe is built out of subatomic particles that appear out from nowhere and disappear again in a very fast velocity (this is quantum physics). So Vipassana teaches to not react anymore to this sensations (becoming equanimous). there is more to the theory (that I strongly belief in). our mind jumps continously from the past to the future while wether past nor future are "real" (future are just possibilities, past just memories). so the only time to life is in the present moment and the more aware we become of that, the happier we will be in life. so while jumping between future and past, we will find pleasant or unpleasant thoughts about it.. if we're not aware of it, pleasant thoughts can result in craving, while unpleasant thoughts result in aversion. and this state of craving and aversion is what makes us miserable. then there is the teaching of Dhamma - the law of Nature or universal truth and its basically the three things: Morality - Concentration - Wisdom Morality means: no killing, no stealing, no lying, no sexual misconduct and no intoxicants. Concentration means: becoming master of your mind and not being slave as we are most of the time (constant chatterin in our mind that we can't stop) Wisdom is what results out of it.. getting insight in the truth so when meditating you have to go really deep to purify your thoughts, because verbal action and physical action are just projections of your thoughts (everything starts in your mind). now Wisdom again has three levels: devoting acceptance - out of fear or blind faith intellectual understanding - you thought about, but still don't live it living it at experiencial level --> path to enlightenment by learning the art of living, you'll learn the art of dying and your mind will peacefully leave this plane, for it's said, that the new mind is a child of the old mind (reincarnation). so far so good.. but Vipassana tells also to get rid of passion (eradicate fear, anger, hatred and PASSION). so with the passion part I can't cope. In fact I see and live it totally different. While Vipassana says that not only "don't liking" (aversion) creates Sankara, but also "liking it" (craving). and Sankara is the root of our misery. In my life though, enjoyment is very important. it gives me energy and strength to smile and perform wholesome actions. I'd even claim, that things will not happen when the mind becomes equanimous (as Vipassana demands). So while I'm aware that nothing last forever and everything changes, I still want to enjoy the pleasures of the moment, being prepared to let go again. this of course is not always easy, but I think it's more worth to enjoy it and deal with the consequences than letting it out entirely!!! so what happened.. I didn't like the idea of Equanimity and therefore couldn't apply that practice anymore. could not meditate at all if fact. and Goenka Vipassana is really strict (silence, no writing/reading, not doing fun things..) and the more I needed to feel passion and joy in my life and the less I could get it, the more I started being unhappy and all the bad thoughts of anger and hatred started to arise in my mind. this REALLY freaked me out!! so while not just stopping it on day 7, I managed to get to day 9 but with a lot of turbulences and dramatic situations, shouting, crying, feeling as desperate as I can remember.. phew.. it was tough! Still, I learned a lot of it!! we're happy we went for the course, but it also gave me time to make up my mind again and becoming aware of the path I go and why I go it! ..so Vipassana is not my path at the moment.. but cultivating joy and pleasure how as we were doing it the last days!! ;D finally I was infinitely happy, where Sky took my out of this course! best decision ever!! I might apply the meditation technique in another way, being more suitable for me. now we are in Kanpur and waiting for 19th, where we have a train to Kolkata and then flying to Thailand.. woah.. it's gonna be a change. but still.. we're not done with India.. we will be back for another great adventure here before touching Swiss ground again ;) yesterday we had to go back to pick up laundry and while we were waiting for it to be delivered, we went to a walk along the Ganga Riverside. It's pretty lovely there, exept for dogs feeding on rotten corpses that must have flown down in the river for days.. what a freaking scary experience!! brrrrrr.. happy didn't get nightmares from this one!! then as usual, we gathered quite a crowd around us, while getting drunk and playing didgeridoo. Even if they couldn't say one word in english, we shared food together and I tried to teach them a few of my tricks ;) we had a totally wicked jam at the pagoda, while waiting for our Rikshaw.. was just awesome!!!! :D now we're hanging out and enjoying in the hotel room.. well earned!! :D hear from us soon and be happy! :)